Our Frenemies, Our Selves: Growing Up in ‘Northanger Abbey’

The OED defines a frenemy as "a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry; a person who combines the characteristics of a friend and an enemy." Though not coined until mid-twentieth century, frenemies were much alive and in practice during the 19^th century, as evidenced in “Northanger Abbey.” Catherine Morland’s friendships with the Tilneys and Thorpes represent the differences between bona fide friends and frenemies.

The most predominant thing about a frenemy is it’s difficult to determine when someone is one, and is usually only realized after much drama and difficulties have transpired. When first introduced to Isabella Thorpe, Catherine Morland is captivated and swept away by Isabella’s intense devotion to her. And, while Catherine admires and respects Eleanor Tilney, her poise and sophistication are no match to Isabella’s guile and panache. And, all of it is a ruse, as both Thorpe siblings excel at manipulating situations to their advantage, always misdirecting events or outright lying. They appear worldly and calculating, a likely by-product of growing up under the auspices of their mother, who routinely prods and promotes them, in an effort to advance their family name and fortune by any means necessary. From John’s lie and carriage abduction, to Isabella’s pursuit of Captain Tilney, Catherine suffers handily, especially when John lies about her finances to General Tilney. The Tilneys, on the other hand, are grounded, accepting, and somehow seem to see through the Thorpes' shenanigans. Clearly these are learned behaviors; the Thorpes are the perverse converse to the Tilneys, a well-respected and reputable family.

The nature of fiction examines many facets of the lives depicted on the pages. Despite not being “real”, fictional stories ultimately reflect a reality of the experiences and the relationships in our own lives. Though considered a satire, “Northanger Abbey” also truly serves as a handbook of the tribulations of growing up. It bestows upon us the both the dark and light sides of friendship, imparting the ugly and bitter truths, with the welcome and agreeable truths, all of which ferment one’s constitution. When recognized and successfully traversed, a frenemy relationship ultimately guides us to our best selves.